Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Wanted: More Time

I know it's a problem with most everyone these days. We have so many choices of what we want (or have) to do with our time. I'm a fairly organized person, keep moving all day long, and believe I'm efficient, but my desires of things I want to get done in a day's time sure do exceed the hours in the day. Seems no matter how fast I go, I come to the end of each day thinking there was so much more 1) I thought I would get gone, and 2) wanted to get done.

Do you ever have the desire to not stop at night? Just keep going doing some of the things you want to do right on through the night time hours when you could/should be sleeping? Would that provide the "extra" hours to do some of my wanna-dos? I've actually been contemplating trying that lately.

Well, I suppose we all know the pay back for such a plan. Not only would I look like something the cat dragged in the following day, but I'd feel like it, too. I sure don't need to do anything that will make me grumpier. I'm cranky enough as it is over this "never enough time" thing.

However . . . I think I just might have come to an intelligent revelation recently.

Being overly concerned about "doing for others" is what I'm coming to realize is a bad habit that eats up (devours!) a lot of my time. If I spend my time making another person's load lighter by helping out in some way, sure I'm being a "good person" but it also takes up time that I could be spending doing something that might give me more joy and satisfaction. No, I'm not advocating becoming a selfish jerk or unfeeling hermit, but rather talking about a finding a healthy balance. (Healthy is the key word here in my case.)

For instance, the reason I can finagle the time to write this blog post tonight is because I'm not doing the dishes for my husband. He left tonight to go work on a special project in the garage of a friend. Right before he left, he said, "Don't do the dishes . . . I'll do them when I get home."

I replied, "But you'll be home so late and I know you won't feel like tackling them then."

"No problem," he said cheerfully. "Really, I'll do them."

Now in the past I've always felt it was the "right" thing to do to have the dishes all done when he arrives home tonight. But really, that's a self-defeating, martyr-ish, foolish way for me to be. He truly won't mind doing the dishes. He'll put on an audio book tape, enjoy listening to it while doing the dishes and it'll probably give him time to wind down from his evening out before bed.

By me not taking the time to do the dishes, I have the opportunity to sit down and do this writing which I truly enjoy.

There ARE ways to change things in my life . . . if I can keep an open mind and be willing to try doing things a little differently. I'm really good at keeping my nose to the grindstone, plodding along in my little rut. Time to climb out, look up at the sky and say, "What changes can I make that will make me feel better so that I'm a nicer person to live with/be around?"

It's the concept of change that's difficult for me. Even a change for the better doesn't feel comfortable at first because it's new and different. Just because I've done something the same way most of my life doesn't make it the best or only way it can be done.

It continues to be a battle, but I'm determined to prove to myself that it's never too late to make some changes.


Jenyfer Matthews said...

I think that is an excellent first step. It's sometimes hard for competent women to step back and let others help US or just do things for themselves. I know - I have that problem myself :)

Jennifer Jo said...

Once Mr. Handsome stayed up half the night cleaning the house because I was so frustrated with all the filth. Waking up in the morning and discovering all the things he had cleaned was like Christmas morning! I still count it as one of the best gifts he ever gave me.

Erin said...

I know what you mean about going all night, unfortunately it's rarely worth it! Just last week I was really "in the mode" and kept going until 10:30 pm, then decided to start a knitting project, which was going well so I decided to keep on knitting and turn on a movie at midnight, by 2 am I was ready for bed except I couldn't sleep by now! I had adrenaline going all day and night, then just laid there until 4 am. I felt terrible at 6 am when I woke up! Tempting, but not worth it!

Mama Pea said...

Hi, Jen - The other thing, of course, is that the female is the care taker, the nourisher, the one basically responsible for the state of house and home regardless of whether she works OUTSIDE the home or not.

Wanna form a support group?

Hey, Jennifer JJJ Jo - Now that man understands women!

Hi, Erin - I know it's a stoopid plan (thanks for proving it!) but sometimes desperation sets in when seeking TIME!

Karen Sue said...

I was emailing some friends this week and said we need one extra evening a week that we can just do 'friend' stuff. Thursday, Frienday, Friday, Saturday...
Nothing else can go on that day, except friend get togethers. And creative juice all over the place.

MaineCelt said...

Why, you naughty wee homesteader...I've I good mind to lock you in your quilting room and not let you out until you're all relaxed and smiley! ;-)

I'm afraid the whole "do for others" thing is indeed a double-edged sword. A clergywomen's group to which I belong printed up t-shirts to remind themselves that self-care is part of the gospel: "Love God. Love Others. Love Yourself." --Rev Gal Standard Version (RGSV). The first two might be hard for some people, but I think the third part is the hardest for a lot of us--especially when it comes to putting it into practice and setting aside time to feed our hearts and spirits!

Mama Pea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mama Pea said...

Hi, Karen Sue - Frienday! I love it. Can you see about getting a law passed to add that day to the week?

MaineCelt - "Oh, please don't throw me in the briar patch (quilt studio), pu-leeze don't throw me in the briar patch (quilt studio)!"