Thursday, September 11, 2008

No Dirty Pictures

There will be no pictures with this post. I'm embarrassing myself enough by writing about this topic.

During the summer/gardening months, do you know who works inside my house keeping it clean, neat and tidy? Nubbuddy, that's who. And it drives me nuts. Don't get me wrong; I am not a neat-freak when it comes to housekeeping. But I do like things to at least look organized, tidy, and surface cleaned. Right now, my house is so deep-dirty, it would give Mr. Clean heart palpitations.

And I don't know how it happens. Roy and I are both relatively clean people. We check our shoes before entering the house. We both bathe regularly and put on clean clothes every day. I manage to get dishes done at least once a day and we immediately clean up any real messes we make. Honest, we do.

Can houseplants die from a really thick layer of dust on their leaves? When was the last time I washed the kitchen floor? Well, let's see . . . if this is September and I started working outside in early May . . . .

There is a corner of the bathroom ceiling that has a network of delicate gray fibers stretching from one wall to another. And there seems to be little . . . things . . . caught in the fibers. Not big things . . . just little, black . . . gnat-like things.

And can somebody tell me what is all that stuff in the bottom of the compartments of the silverware tray? And where did it come from? By my guesstimation, it looks to be about 1/4" deep right now.

I moved the toaster yesterday morning. Screeeeeam. Holy Batman. Crumbs, yuck, greasy-dirty-dust, a dead spider and a dime. (Haven't been hitting the corners much lately, have you, Mama Pea?)

When I designed our small kitchen, I opted for white cabinets because I thought they would give a light and airy feel to the minimalistic space I had to work with. Let me tell you about white cabinets. Don't EVER put in white cabinets. Do NOT do it. A big, bad, STUPID mistake. Every fingerprint and smudge shows Every little drip shows up like a flashing neon light. Every teeny-tiny indentation or lip or piece of molding holds dust, grit and grime with glaring visibility. At this moment, they have never been dirtier. Their only redeeming quality is that by having them I've come to realize that all other-than-white cabinets are most likely just as dirty; the lucky homeowners just don't know it. But I do . . . neener-neener-nee-ner. (Oh, that is so petty.)

I live in fear that someone will casually take a book from one of our shelves to peruse . . . poof . . . cough . . . sneeze . . . splutter . . . gag.

I could go on but this is getting too depressing. And let's face it, it could be a lot worse. (Oh, really?) I have a friend who was boiling down maple sap in a big pot on her kitchen stove, she walked away and kinda sorta forgot it. Yup, it boiled over and she had sticky, icky, gooey sap down in the burners of the stove, all over the counter, down between the stove and counter, covering the knobs of the stove, in one drawer and cabinet, all over the floor. Now THAT would be a real cleaning project. (When I related this incident to my daughter, she looked at me with a deadpan expression and said, "I would move.")

I did vacuum and dust this afternoon. Darn near filled the vacuum cleaner bag, I think. And one of these days, after a good, hard frost has zapped everything in the garden, I will start spending time inside getting caught up on all the housekeeping chores I've let slide all summer. I should be done just in time to put up the Christmas decorations.

No comments: