I suppose it's especially pronounced at this time of year. Or maybe I'm just trying to do too much on a regular basis.
It's driving me crazy the way time each and every day zooms by leaving me at the end of the day wondering why another day is over and, hey, no fair! There are still heaps of things I wanted to do today and I'm. Out. Of. Time.
Draggin' my wagon is what I did all day today. Last night I woke at 1:30 from a bad dream, laid in bed trying to fall back asleep until 2:30, gave up, got up, went into my quilting studio and sewed until 4 a.m. Got back into bed and tossed and turned until . . . ? All I know is that I sure wasn't ready to bounce out of bed and whip my weight in wildcats when the alarm went off at 6.
What was my bad dream? I was repeatedly startled awake by being positive (I was positive, I tell you) I heard Zoey the Wonder Dog's single bark at the door that always meant, "Let me in!"
Now our Zoey died at fourteen years of age this past spring, but I have this totally irrational feeling she's not really dead (I'm not crazy if I know the feeling is totally irrational, right?), but is going to appear at the door as she did in my dream. Or at least I have flashes of that happening before my mind snaps back to reality and know she's gone. (She collapsed and died one night while walking between her bed at the bottom of the stairs to Papa Pea's office and her bed in our bedroom.)
She was a hunting dog, and the little devil would stick by you (as she knew darn well she was supposed to) if she was outside loose. Yeah, she'd stick by you until you turned your back for more than 30 seconds at which time she'd streak straight off into the woods to do what she was bred to do: hunt. ("You're not going to take me hunting? Fine, I'll go by myself.") I think the reason I had the dream is because I always feared we would lose her that way. That she'd run off into the woods populated with wolves and bears and the occasional trapper's trap, not come back and we'd never know what happened to her. That we'd not be able to find her and always be waiting for her to come back.
Well, anyway that was the reason I didn't get my needed amount of beauty sleep last night. Because I was operating on only two cylinders, lots of other dumb, stoopid, weird things happened today, too, but you'd really send me an application for the funny farm if I related them all to you.
I'll just end this nonsensical rambling, do what I should do and go to bed right now hoping to make tomorrow a more profitable day that maybe will have a few more hours in it than today did.
the quotidian (10.23.17)
10 hours ago