Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Yes, I Am Cranky

Our temperature has been steadily falling all day today. It currently reads 36 and it's raining. Except the rain drops are white and shaped like snowflakes. At least they're melting as they hit the ground. At least for now.

They say computers have made our lives easier and save us time. Yep, until you have an unexplainable problem with the functioning of your computer. Until your band width is being eaten up at a rate faster than the speed of sound and you keep getting "timed out" because you've used the allotted time your "package" provides and your service is cut off for a 24-hour go-sit-in-the-corner-for-bad-behavior period. After spending 2-3 hour periods each day about six different times over the last two months talking with the experts (in India), your Internet provider acknowledges that, yes, there is a problem, but cannot identify what the problem is and therefore it has not been rectified. "But call us," they say, "when it happens again." Two to three more hours wasted that day in unproductive communication.

We're facing a summer of such magnitude of work and complexity that we're finding ourselves crushed by the weight of it and we haven't even started on it full-on yet.

I can't handle the garden and the job of wearing the second tool belt in the family both so the majority of the garden will go into rest and relaxation mode (lucky garden) for this year. With the price of purchasing food escalating as I type, this scares me to death.

Both hubby and I are experiencing difficulties sleeping. Sleep is the time you heal, rejuvenate, re-energize. It ain't happenin' much in our house lately. And our emotional and physical states are showing signs of wear and tear.

Hubby, aka Financial Manager of our household, is spending more time than usual (time that obviously takes him away from doing other things) managing our finances in these turbulent economic times. Are we going to wind up being another "retired" couple who has to seek outside employment at this stage of our lives to bring in that extra bit of cash needed? (Cringe-shudder-cringe.)

Instead of jumping into our huge remodeling project, would time be better spent re-doing our front deck that is rotting away before our very eyes? What about the roof on a main storage structure that is self-destructing? What about the one remaining building on the property that still has those four or six huge trees too close to it which are going to create a large amount of damage and expense (when they blow over in one of our seemingly frequent once-in-a-century horrendous wind storms) if we don't get around to removing them first?

We've been going to build a new chicken/goose house for several years now. One huge branch landed pointy end down and went right through the roof of the old hen house. We patched it so that it doesn't leak. Too much. At the moment.

Our pond needs to be completely drained and the holes those ratty little muskrats made located and repaired so it stops leaking to the point of morphing into a large mud puddle by the end of summer.

It's unbelievable how many times we've needed to use our high-sided trailer in the past year and a half since it was smooshed by a falling tree. And, obviously, wasn't available at the time of need. We have the framing rebuilt on it but the flooring and sides still need to be done.

Oh gosh, the list goes on and one and on. Things that need to be done, should be done to ensure our safe little haven stays our safe little haven in the midst of an insane world.

I keep reminding myself we have no real problems. I really do. I keep chanting the Minnesotan mantra, "It could be worse!" And I know it could. And I know I shouldn't be so down and draggin' and bellyachin'. We have a lot to be thankful for and I'm definitely being a real pain in the patoot lately.

Here's hoping my cranky mood disappears with the snowflakes that aren't really snowflakes. They just look that way.

24 comments:

judy said...

OMG-MOMMA PEA my heart weeps for you -you are usually cheering everyone on and on and on [ like me ] I FEEL I LET MY COMPLAINER OUT THE DOOR AND IT MARCHED RIGHT UP STATE TO YOUR DOOR STEP BECAUSE MY GROUCHINESS HAD TO ESCAPE TO SOMEWHERE,BUT NOT YOU!! MAY THE THE WARM WIND FLO ONTO YOUR BACKSIDE-OH WHATEVER-I'M NOT IRISH?BUT I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.I WILL HAVE MY GRAND-DAUGHTER SING A PROSE "CRANKY,CRANKY ----GO AWAY "CHEER UP---AND YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THE OLD MN. SAYING IT COULD GET WORSE, THEY COULD LET THE STATE BIRD OUT EARLY---OH NO -I SEE ONE HAS HATCHED ON MY DECK ALREADY- "THE DREADED, FEARED MOSQUITO"

Jane said...

First, take two glasses of wine and call me in the morning. Second, don't feel bad, we all have that list of never ending to-do's, dwindling funds, and lack of time. At least we are not alone in this. Third, it may be time to raid Mr. Pea's Easter Basket. Candy can cure a lot. Especially with wine :)

Sparkless said...

I could tell you my problems in the hope that it would make your's look less but that never works. That would just make both of us depressed. So instead I'm going to tell you that you and Papa Pea are going to be fine, cause you will, really you will. You've both weathered all sorts of storms before and this one you'll get through too.

I'm sending you a cyber hug, and some calgon (you remember the commercial, "Calgon, take me away!") And I'm slipping you a bottle of wine. Anytime you need a whine just pop open the wine and go at it.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

I know exactly how you feel.

2 Tramps said...

Oh, Momma Pea, we understand here. We, too, are feeling overwhelmed with all that is facing us, along with lack of sleep and worry. One thing we do every couple of months is make a to do list of what is bugging us most - his list and mine. Then we talk about what is realistic. We put the lists away and do them again later. It is pretty interesting to see how our two lists vary and when we look at all the lists we have saved in the last several years, some items that we felt were very serious are still on the lists and as we look back, we wonder why we cared about them versus others that have come up.

Yes, drink a glass of wine and know that you are not alone in your angst.

P.S. Yesterday it hailed off and on all day here. I woke up at 1:00 AM trying to remember if I had brought my tomato plants inside for the night...

Stephanie said...

Many hugs and prayers Mama Pea! It can be overwhelming, so just take it one day at a time, and sometimes just one day at a time:) Hugs!!!

Spiderjohn said...

I got up this morning as tired as when I went to bed. I didn't want to go to work. It was pouring rain again ( 18 out of 26 days this month!!) which has been depressing to no end. I was thinking about all of the stuff at home and at work that needed to be done that just keeps building and then I started reading my morning paper.... and saw a picture of a little eight year old boy in our little dot on the map that had died of cancer. I cried for him and his family, smacked myself up side the head and said, " you are one lucky and fortunate man."
It does help to vent about our (perceived) problems though sometimes and you had a good-un momma pea. And I know you smacked yourself upside the head and said, "I am one lucky and fortunate woman." Hugs

Patty said...

Wow! That was an extremely stressful post...I'm praying you feel peace even though life is just too much sometimes.
And this weather!!! Yuck!!

Fiona said...

Oh, Mama Pea -- I'm right there with you. I feel burnt out already, and our busy season hasn't even started yet. I'm tired... all the time. I worry, a lot. Our to-do list is years long and it seems damn near impossible to make a dent in it, ever.

I keep telling myself, "you have nothing to worry about -- your family is healthy, we have food in our fridge, a roof over our head..." and so on, but when the price of food and gas and everything else is rising and the world seems so very scary, it's hard to feel grateful for all the good simply because it feels so precarious sometimes.

You're not alone and you've got a whole crew of friends cheering you on and ready to give you the support that you always give us. And if I could send you some magic, I would -- in a heartbeat. Hang in there, Mama... xo

Ruth @ Hope, Joy and Faith Farm said...

Hang in there, Mama... One day at a time, as I say in my program (tho lately it's one minute at a time). Small steps and little accomplishments will go a long way. I hope you and Papa start getting some sleep (Valerian root maybe?) and the wine can't hurt. Sending positive thoughts your way!

Piecefulafternoon said...

A big deep breath - let it out - now look at the things that you do have that are so good. You do have a nice place - a good size piece of land - a chance to make improvements and changes when you want, and time to do them - - - and - - - - - no earthquakes or tsunami. A rant is good to get things out in the air and take a long look at them - make a list - tack it up someplace - or burn it in the fireplace - then set about doing what you can when you can - and enjoy it along the way. Hope your day improves and the snow melts away.

LindaCO said...

I'm so sorry! I've had the same feelings more often than not lately. It's temporary, though. For you, too.

Sleep is good, life-changing even. If you could find the right mix that lets you sleep so you feel good during the day...

It helps me to remember that, most of the time, I prioritize and do my level best, and that's all I can do.

Sue said...

My list got too long and I'm currently playing hooky in Dubuque, IA-eating too much good pie and cruising the greenhouses.
I wish I had something "magical" I could say-but I know that we all have these times and I guess they're here to make us realize how good we have it(most of the time). A very big hug from me. I will eat an extra slice of pie for you today! And I'll tell hubby I need an extra plant or two too-just to cheer you up! LOL!!! Hey-it works for me!
Hang in there chickie-brighter days are coming!

MamaTea said...

Oh, Mama Pea. I'm with Jane. Have a glass of wine. Or two or three. If I lived closer I'd come join you and help you with your projects. :( I'm sorry things are rough right now. Please know that we're crossing our fingers for you, hoping things get better. Hang in there. :)

Mama Pea said...

Hey, Everybody - How wise and smart and funny and wonderful you all are. I am blessed just have all of you in my corner. The support (and good suggestions) you've given have been taken to heart. I've been awake since 3 this morning (which ain't helping the situation) and this funk is hanging on longer than usual, but I'm fighting it and have hopes that by the end of the day I'll have come up with a better plan than being someone I don't want to be around. ;o} Thank you all, thank you, thank you!

Erin said...

I'm with you on all of it! We currently have a car that's been parked for way too long needing expensive repairs, and the rental property needs a new heat pump, we need to upgrade our plumbing under the house and there is always that BIG list of nagging stuff that makes you feel like everything is going to cave in. Money is so tight, and it is so hard to get by sometimes, but at least you know that a lot of us are right there with you, there's no shame in having to get creative and put things on the back burner for awhile. We probably had no business redoing our kitchen since we had to put most of it on payments here and there, but knowing that we couldn't afford a better home, we did it to make our life better here so we wouldn't always feel so "antsy" in our own place. I don't like that you aren't getting much sleep, sometimes that's the one thing that can keep us sane in crazy times. We too, are already stressing the financial issues of hubby's military retirement and how the heck are we going to do it? That's the whole reason he's staying long enough to get the military retirement, at least we can supplement with not-so-highpaying jobs instead of having to look for a big salary in a place where those jobs don't exist. Day by day, girlfriend - and feel free to vent here, lots of us are nodding in agreement as we read your posts!

abc123 said...

Mama Pea,
I prescribe lots of warmth and sunshine for you. It has been too long for these winterlike conditions. When the weather turns for the better, you will be energized to tackle the challenges and with creative gusto. Hang in there!

Susan said...

Well, for some practical advice (besides Jane's great wine remedy), I would say to sit down with Papa Pea, take this post and look at what causes you the most stress. Worry about food prices may be more stressful than finishing your garage. Then skip the garage and work on your garden. Maybe rebuilding the chicken/goose house will get you into construction mode - do that first. It needs done, and it's a smaller project. I think that the internet has opened up the world to us, with all it's additional stresses. Thank goodness it has also opened up doors to new friends who love and support you. Work on the sleep thing - it will help everything else. xxx

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