I foolishly made the proclamation last night that I was going to spend the whole day at my desk today getting caught up on many, many things that have been sliding by the wayside for too long.
Catch up on e-mails owed, order some probiotics we're out of and a couple of other things, pay a couple of bills, sort through the stacks on my desk top to make sure I haven't lost a couple of bills, sort through and throw away catalogs that came in two or three months ago, go through the catalogs I can't bear to jettison without checking out, order some new audio books for my husband from library, catch up on blog reading and leaving comments, get up this new post and one on my quilt blog, sort out some files that are keeping the file drawer from closing, maybe even look through that new cook book I got two weeks ago . . . puff-pant, shall I go on?
So how am I doin'? Not so good, she says in a pitiful little voice. I did have to stop to make a run to the post office and return some materials that were due today at the library, but other than that I've really been working hard at the desk. I guess, just like all other things we try to do, it always takes more time than we imagine it will. Wouldn't ya think we'd get smarter when looking at a task and judging how long it will take to complete it? Yep, ya would think that. Sigh.
Persevering in my efforts to change, to not get uptight, to stop pushing myself mentally and physically when it's not really necessary, to ignore my monkey mind telling me I don't work hard enough or get enough accomplished, I shall slow down in order to enjoy what I did get done and get pleasure out of the moment. I refuse to get my undies in a bundle and end up cranky and emotionally exhausted today.
Relax and breathe. Take a few moments to appreciate my good life and all I have to be thankful for. Sit here and look at the top of my desk (which is now about 50% visible) and be happy that it looks so much better than it did first thing this morning. No, I haven't accomplished all I thought I would and that's okay. I did a pretty good job on what I did. (Besides, nobody's gonna fire me, that's for sure.)
It's almost time to start dinner preparations. A yummy taco salad for which Chicken Mama will join us tonight. I'm good. I'm okay. I'm relaxing and breathing . . . and appreciating. Hey, I think I may be making some progress here. (Now where's that good red wine I opened a couple of days ago?)
P.S. Just got a post up over on my quilt blog. Go over and take a look if you wish.
the struggle
57 minutes ago
6 comments:
who would dare fire you? certainly not papa pea?when your done with your desk area ,come do mine-I bet you have everything alphabetized what are probiotics,I can Google it.now just breath, just breath [ you can hear the song] The other day while we were out to the VA ,I ASKED JERRY " DO YOU DARE ME TO HUM AND JUST START MOVE IT ,MOVE ,MOVE IT THEME"
I totally get this. I am sitting here at 6:30 am thinking the same types of things need to be done here! I have been meaning to write a few actual letters ( you and CM included!) but really, really want to try my hand at making cards since I have all these scrapbooking supplies sitting unused, and it's raining outside but then I know that I need uninterrupted time to do that and soon the kids will be up tearing around and wanting to get into all of "mom's cool stuff"' if it's strewn about. So, if I manage to do that today, you will know what happened if a card shows up with random stamping and paint on it and looks a mess - the kids did it! That's the excuse I'm going to use anyways LOL! Hope you are able to get a bit of it done, a little at a time is perfectly acceptable!
Yup. understand this kind of thinking. I always set impossible goals for myself and then beat myself up when I don't get everything on my list done. I've taken to writing down the things I actually accomplish rather than what was on my list. It helps.
And I don't think anyone could ever accuse you of not being productive. My word woman, you accomplish a lot!
Judy
Well, I am just glad that you are (maybe) starting to relax a bit. Setting more reasonable goals is sometimes a tough job for "moms". We always seem to get interrupted either by our kids when they are living at home, our dear hubbies, the phone, meals, dogs, etc., etc., etc. I am not sure why we don't think more of ourselves so that we are able to say "This is my time." KNIM? PS: Just checked out your quilt blog. Looks like I will definitely need those smelling salts.
judy - You are so funny (and adorable and cute)! Jerry must be kept on his toes constantly always wondering what you will do or say next!
Erin - I know you do understand, Erin. Finding time for yourself while raising a family is next to impossible. (Maybe even an oxymoron!) When they are in school or out of the house, you do the "must dos" on the list that are so much easier done with no one else in the house. Carving out time for doing something to feed your soul like creating the homemade cards can be difficult. But thinking of your current situation makes me wanna whop myself upside the head and more fully appreciate by stage of life and stop whining. Hope you have a good weekend and see some sunshine!
Judy - I think we need to form our own support group . . . Women Who Set Impossible Goals for Themselves and Then Wonder Why They Get Frustrated with What They Feel Is Under-Achievement. How's that for a mouthful??
Karen L. - I think it has something to do with the fact that "our job" of homemaking/caregiving is with us 24/7. It's impossible to leave at "the office." We can't walk away from it.
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